Acting is my Passion
I am tired of people trying to make me be someone I am not. I am tired of being subjected to narcissism and abuse. My life is not property. It is mine. I am tired of disrespect. I am tired of people trying to cover up the truth. I LOVE ACTING. I had plans for my life and I am sick of people trying to force my journey or force my relationships.
These are my acting journals from McDaniel College. I am not interested in being a lawyer. I am not interested in a future in environmental law. I do not care if you think I am wasting my life. How dare you? I have no reason to want to fight to live because I am back to feeling like the last kid picked in gym. Just because I was not the person you thought I would become or the one the PERSON MY PARENTS WANTED TO be you had to stop me from building my career and pursuing my passions. I am not the property of my parents and I made choice to beat cancer and live. I AM SICK OF THIS. I loved my life on sets. I needed to be left alone to create and be happy. I am a good person and I had dreams of my own. I hate you DISNEY. I hate you ABC. I am not going to move one because my parents and AMELIA ADAMS demand I do.
The second document is I found that some of the pages in my original scan of the Journal were hard to read. So I rescanned them but made them darker.
I talk about my friends in the Theater Department. I do not think I say anything bad. My teacher in my acting class also read these pages. This turns out to be the Acting Journal and note book for my first Acting class, Acting Styles, and also a senior thesis workshop I did in Eugene O’Neill. I actually tell my teacher in my journal that I was thinking about working in Entertainment. I wanted to combine my passion for Acting with my creative mind and part of me needed to be practical. I think why I am SO ANGRY with everyone, especially my parents. THIS HAS BEEN A DECADE OF ME BEING ABUSED as if years of my life did not happen. I AM CRAZY? My parents and their WASP fans are trying to make me be a house wife. I am sorry but I had talent and I had brains and I had plans of my own. My life is over because other people decided WHO I AM AND WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?
I am not good at being a lawyer. I do not trust people now. I am paranoid and scared and I need my life back. I earned SAG AFTRA but you think I am crazy because I am not a lawyer or an actor according to PATRICK DEMPSEY AND ERID DANE. WELL I TRAINED TO BE AN ACTOR and got a law degree. Bu that does not mean that I am going to be YOUR LAWYER AND REPRESENT ANYONE OR MOVE TO TEXAS and MARRY A MILITARY CHRISTIAN MAN. I want my family OUT OF MY LIFE. I trained to work in the ENTERTAINEMNT INDUSTRY. I grew up and when I moved out of my parents house at 18 I stopped being their property. I want my own career not a relationship and I AM NOT GAY. I needed to be left alone. I AM NOT CHANGEING MY CAREER GOALS OR PASSIONS FOR MY PARENTS OR FOR SOME MAN WHO WANTS MY BODY. I am full rage and not LOVE so stop trying to make me do ANYTHING. I am suicidal without ACTING. I will not be making friends with people not into acting and I will not be looking to MOVE ON. Not unless you want to drive me to kill myself. AMELIA ADAMS you and my mother stop thinking you can ruin my reputation and lie about me. I was a hard working THEATER major in college with passion for the ARTS. I am an intelligent educated woman and I do not want men who are hairy apes.
JASON GEORGE I AM AN ACTOR. I was thrown into an institution because SAG AFTRA did not believe I am a lawyer and I am not FICORE and you will not make me work NON UNION. NOT YOU OR WILL WALLACE.