Last week I had a suprise. A woman I met who is a professional in the industry contacted me and asked me to watch a movie and write a review. She told me she needed it ASAP. I was shocked. I told her OK. She offered to pay me a nice sum of money. I ended up telling her to forget about paying me. I did the project. I watched the film and took notes. It was a documentary. Docuemntaries are a different breed than narative movies. They do not necessarily involve a script or a story structure. I actually wanted to see this documentary but I was unfamiliar with the events. It was the story of taking over a Chinese TV broadcast to protest the persecution of a group or practicing Buddhists in the FALUN GONG sect.

I watched the film. I quickly wrote four to five hundred words and sent it. Apparently though I was not writing for the woman I knew but writing for her client. So it was her acting as intermediary. This often does not work well. I was told I was to give my opinion. Instead I am informed that the movie I had liked was not likeable. Well my response was I am being paid for MY OPINION. I also was not interested in writing for the OSCARS and comparing it to other contenders, especialy since I had not seen any of the other nominees. I am very annoyed with the fact my reputation was one of honesty and trust. But I can not work for people who want me to give up my values to get paid. I want to be truthful and express how I really think and feel. We hav this messed up culture that demands we make money doing what ever we can but then what about RIGHT AND WRONG. I want to have respect as capable but also of not being a door mat. I want my name to mean intelligence and credibility, not I can be paid to write what others demand I write even if I disagree with it.

I also was not aware of the political stance of the leader of FALUN GONG. The organizatoin here in AMERICA has spread QANON and ANTI VACCINATION rhetoric. Its leader has expressed PRO TRUMP opionions. OF course I do not like that. BUT I still liked the documentary. Because the documentary only mentions the founder of the religion once. Most of the film is about the planning and hijakcing of CHINA TV and what happened to the people involved. It is a protrait of the abuse and inhumane actions of CHINA toward a group they are trying to suppress. REGARDLESS of the leaders politics here in AMERICA. CHINA’s persecution and violence toward this group is not acceptable. If anythig I think it is interesting that the film never interviews the man who started the religion even though he is here in the UNITED STATES. The focus of the film is on an annimator who had to leave CHINA because he was just a practitioner and guilty by association and his quest to find out the truth of the events that lead to his departure.

I have been informed that what I wrote will not be published and that I will be getting half the pay, but I do not care. I did not acomplish what this client wanted. I ended upwriting an additional four hundred words after doing research on FALUN GONG for an hour. However I guess no one will ever read what I wrote. I kind of want to publish it myself on this blog. Such a waste of time if no one will read my opinion. I would rather have my honest opinion out in the public eye than be paid to express what others want me to say. My integrity and opinion can not be bought.

When I wrote for the examiner I had the right to chose my topics. It is one of the resaons I quit after examiner was bought by a ticket company. I wanted a side gig writing but not if I could not look myself in the eye and feel good about the work I was doing. I will not use my talents to further agendas that in my opinion are not helpful to the planet or to life in general. I do not care about creating scandal or being mean just to get readers. I want the world to be a better place and I want to feel good about the work I do whether it is my writing or my acting. I wanted to be an actor, and not an entertainment marketer or critic. I want to be doing acting and I do not want to be an entertianment journalist. I like CULTURE and I like film and TV but if I can not make tv and film I do not care about wathing movies with friends. I wanted an acting career. I will always be sad inside if I am never going to be hired as an actor again. I will never be in love with anyone or even with LIFE. Acting was my passion. I will never like the people who cut me off from everything I dreamt of doing. I WANT TO BE BACK ON SETS AND ACTING AGAIN. WRITING IS A BORE TO ME. I do not want to career in corporate america. I do not want to work in production if I can not be hired as an actor. I WANT TO BE KNOWN FOR BEING GOOD AT ACTING. I do not care about making MONEY OR BEING SUCCESSFUL because I felt successful when I was working full time on sets. I DO NOT FEEL SUCCESSFUL AND NEVER WILL AGAIN IF I NEVER GET TO WORK ON SETS AGAIN. I will hate my life and I will HATE THE PEOPLE TRYING TO PUSH INTO MY WORLD. I will never be remembered after I DIE because of what SAG AFTRA DID. My life is over and unimportant. I HATE MY PARENTS. I hate their religion and politics. I do not want to be like AMELIA ADAMS. I hate beauty contests. I am not doing acting because I want to be a REAL ESTATE AGENT WITH RICH FAMOUS CONTACTS. I want to be in my imgination again. I want to be exploring a character and how they think. i want to be thinking like an actor and not thinking I have to be someting else. I HATE EVERYTHING ELSE.