Truth is relevant… yes I’m an actress… [written june 22, 2009]
[I wrote this on another blog I had on June 22, 2009, but I may drop that one as I like this idea better. Anyways, to me acting is my life. It is why I love life and breathe. I am not one to be satisfied by being kicked or brushed aside, nor am I the type who wants to typically take from anyone else. Pain is not something I like to see or feel.]
Art and truth. When an artist truly connects to the real in the world, you know it. You see it. You connect to it. The same is true for good acting, even that on the screen. We know when what we see steps out of truth and into a fake farce. The edge of the sword of truth has a power that can not be denied. I yearn for it. I crave it. I need it. We waste energy with false lies and games and we do not let each other be happy and have hope.
Let go of others and be free. Live long and love. [Lately I have come to realize that there are times when I don’t feel like I did right, but others have told me I did. I performed in front of people from Fox and NBC at a showcase and felt nervous, but others said I was not, that it was my props that threw people off. I wrote my own piece and did it. And others have no idea what I can do.]
Let me go. And if you think I am holding onto you, you would be wrong. I am me. And yet as an actress I am challenged to play people I am not. I am a good person misjudged and yearning for something true in my life that allows me to take risks, and does not judge me by my craft.
Time will tell if I have the strength to survive this pain and misery. Time will tell if I can exist in harmony. Time will tell if I can be the person I am, or be regulated to the one you think I should be.