The American dream frightens me.  It assumes to much that ever person in America wants the same things. It also places burdens on 50% of the population that require that 50% to give up and sacrifice there freedom, there career goals, there body, and dreams for there life.  No I’m not talking about men who have been trapped by their inability to face the consequences of not being able to act responsibly.  Believe it or not I’m talking about Women who have a desire to stand on there own or if they have to have a mate, being allowed to find one who is supportive in a way that allows for a woman to have a sense of identity.

I never as a child saw myself getting married.  I did not go through girl magazines or even obsess over movie stars.  I like Sherlock Holmes, Lara Holt, Susan Sarandon and Martin Sheen’s social change efforts.  I liked to go to poetry seminars and read classical literature, and I loved old films, science fiction, and being in my head.  I was not one to party, get in trouble, though I refused to “join” in anything that went against what I believed.  I wanted to be creative, at the same time I did not want my father angry at me so I walked a line.  My childhood was lonely because my friends fit what my father wanted in my life, while who I was was ignored.
I found me in college and yet I lived in fear still.  The only time I was free I was on sets.  I will never feel free again.  My father wanted me out of school.  I wanted out but only if allowed to work on sets with actors.  I love acting.  I have nothing to dream about because of hatred from others.  I was a professional for five years and I want friends who are real, who will talk about acting and get it. Otherwise I will never be OK and I will feel tortured and bullied for the rest of my life. 

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