I am not sure what I did.  I woke up a few weeks ago and my foot was hurting me.  The bottom of the outer food by what is called the balls of the feet.  I could bend my toes, stand on my toes, but walking hurt.  It seemed to be a localized pain on the bottom right center.  Actually now there is a weird indentation in the skin right in the area above where it hurts.  See:

Now at first the foot looked normal.  It just hurt.  I got these little toe guards for my toes so I could walk and stuck some padding to the surface of the guard.  The localized pain has now gone, though the area feels a bit prickly and the foot has swollen up.  The swelling started about 3 days ago.  If I take a hot bath the pain/ discomfort also seems to dissipate.  See the right foot you can see my bones.  The left the flesh is a bit bloated.  (OK I think I have funny feet.  My left toe was smashed in an accident at the NEXT STAGE theater which like the accident I had on January of 2008, I don’t believe it was an accident.  This young guy when I was up against a wall pushed into me and his foot went down hard on my foot.  My father at the time laughed and told me that my mother had the same thing happen and her toe never grew back correctly.  I also don’t wear high heels often and well my toes look like fingers.) 

I am a bit scared the cancer is back.  This morning I found myself meditating and praying that if it was I would be OK, just let me get through it with dignity or let the world let me find peace and love if this is leading to the end of the journey.  I accept this on one level, but reject that it needs to be as painful as it can be, and will make efforts to balance.  I am taking vitamins for joints and herbs for my stomach and well just doing what I can in the hope that this is just some tissue damage or a slight infection and my body will heal itself.  I am also taking grape seed extract that kills bacteria. 

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2013 Laura Ann Tull