http://the-talks.com/interviews/robin-wright/

Interesting. I agree. It’s a shame that people don’t get there is art to acting.  I’m in serious emotional pain because I’m not going to make money as an actor. Not because I can’t.  That is what is really making me angry.  Actors make so much money and yet I’ve been cut off from my Union the profession.  It is not making me want to get up and achieve anything.  I used to care about getting good grades and doing well in everything I did.  Cutting me off from the Union and actors does not make me want to fight to succeed.  It took away my hope in life and my faith in the government, the legal system, and mankind in being good and kind. 

My parents give me two messages.  One I need to make tons of money.  I need to be rich.  Two I need to obey, and keep my mouth shut and know my father is king.  I am not allowed to disagree with him or go against his or any man’s wishes.  I can’t do both.  I can’t be successful as a lawyer without standing up and voicing my opinion and speaking my mind.  But I don’t want to be successful as a lawyer.  I don’t care about getting into a law firm or going to court.  As a kid My father took me to court and tried to get me to talk to a female prosecutor.  I refused.  She scared me.  I also got kicked out of the court room.  I could tell the witness was lying on the witness stand and it made me mad.  My father later told me They knew he was lying.  My father should have realized then I was not cut out to be in his world. 

I don’t want to live in my father’s world.  I want my own back.  I don’t want to go to church.  I don’t want to work in the real world at all.  I liked my world of make believe.  I liked my world on sets helping to create stories.  It is what I understand.  It is what I’m trained to do. I don’t want a family like my family.  They don’t listen to me.  They don’t hear the emotional pain I’m in at all because I need to be allowed to grow.  Not this madness where I’ve been shut down and can’t.  I’m tired of people not being truthful.   I’m tired of people being bullies to me about my acting. 

My aunt wrote me a note saying if I wanted my family in my world I needed to be nice because you can’t attract bees without honey.  My answer:  why would I want bees in my home.  No sane person wants to be stung the way my family stings me. 

My father telling me I have to live.  I have to make fake friends, work jobs I hate, and give up my dreams and just live.  I can’t.  I can’t.  I don’t want to pretend to believe in his god and go to his church and work for the government and not be able to voice my opinion.  I don’t want to be a real estate agent, sell insurance, hang out with lawyers.  In my real life I don’t want to be around people my father would want to hang out with.  I was living when I was on sets.  I don’t want to live if I can’t be me. 
I don’t want to work in the public sector in a job with a routine.  I thrived on sets.  I felt alive. I don’t want a family now.  When I thought I had a future on sets where I’d have a life where I could do some kind of freelance work and still pursue acting I thought maybe I will have a family, but not a traditional picket fence kind. 

I have a busted lip now.  I got so angry having my father on the phone tell me “I have to live” I managed to hurt myself. I don’t want to live like my parents do.  I don’t want to be who they want me to be.  And I have turned down work because my wanting to be an actor is more important to me then being successful in anything else.

I was offered the job of doing titles for a film, Not for money.. but it might have given me experience.  The guy sent me an email telling me he would talk to his actors.  I can’t remember the complete context but I realized this guy was never going to see me as an actor.  So I told him to go to he’ll.  Find someone else.  If I can’t say I’m also an actor I don’t want to work for someone close minded and regimental.  I also got offered work by a woman with a company in Venice who does work for film marketing.  I met her at Abbot Kinney.  I guess she liked my work.  She offers to send me freelance stuff.  I told her no way.  A great deal of her work I saw was ABC.  I told her I won’t work for ABC unless they hire me to act.  ABC has left me feeling ugly, broken, and like a loser.  There is no way I want to help sell there “only perfect people are actors and you need to conform to our standards to be an actor” crap to the American public.  I would not work for anyone if I have to give up fighting to be a professional actor. If no one would make money off my acting then I chose to die.  Because I can’t live knowing I’m ugly, untalented, a freak, and that I suck at acting.  If I suck I want to fight and train at AFI to be better. I Want to take workshops at SAG Foundation to learn.  Until I have my faith restored forget about me living.  I’d be beautiful if people had faith that we women can achieve things and are interesting and attractive at any age or shape. 
If my parents had faith in me which they don’t. I never did drugs. Never got into trouble at school growing up. Yet they act like I can’t take care of Me while also telling me I’m supposed to now take care of them.

I’ve stumbled across in IMDB actors who are also editors.  I just found this article.  I’ve met Topher Grace once at an event down town to announce the creation of his own production company.  I asked him if it was Green as in environmentally friendly.  Apparently Topher is now able to edit in addition to everything else.  Why is it unbelievable that I could not have an acting career and do something else in the industry.
http://www.slashfilm.com/topher-grace-edited-star-wars-prequels-85minute-movie/

I don’t want to do theater.  I can’t make money doing theater, not enough when I’m 100,000 in debt. I am crazy now because people assume now only theater actors are allowed to be Union members.  I did not do a one person show because I can’t travel.  I leave school I lose the possibility of finishing my certificate I started and I have debts I have to pay off.  Thank you for playing God.  I am an adult.  I did grow up.  And I should have been respected to make my own choices.  I have turned down digital work because I’m terrified Because of what the Union did. 

I want to know now is Blake Shields working on sets in some other capacity?  Is that Why Asaf Cohen, who was with Woodey Schultz when he told this, said that Blake was the hardest working person he knew?  Working at teaching yoga?  Or doing work like motion capture acting like Woody which my father would say wasn’t a real Job?  I will not work for anyone unless I can fight to act.  I don’t want a family.  I want an acting career. I want to know this is my life again and if I want to waste it fighting to act that is my choice, not yours. I would never not want to train at acting. I would never not want to be on sets again. I don’t want a future with a real job and a church community and a husband. I don’t want to be the property of a man and be forced to cook and clean and have sex with him and pretend to enjoy it and make kids with him so they can grow up to be lied to by TV shows telling them They can have an imagination and be creative and grow up to be who they want to be. If I have to live the way my parents want can I make my kids give up their goals and force them to be actors. My father is trying to make me live his dreams. I would make my kids live mine then, so the abuse does not end. Does that sound mentally healthy to you? Think about it.

I don’t care about the carpet part of Hollywood.  I really don’t.  I hate carpet. The few Times I’ve walked the red carpet was because people I someone asked me to or I was in the film.  Enough said. Peace.

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