episode 2

  

v Episode4 I met Blake Shields this day. I remember because we were by the ferris wheel and for some reason he walked up to me and asked me for my name. I think I told him I was a carni wife and I had been working the show since the beginning of the second season. he Told me he did not work the show allot. We did not know each other at all but we talked a few times and I hung out with the regulars on the show and worked other sets with some of them.

Again me when Clea Duval was digging the latrine.do a good  I had a tendency to avoid the camera. I was not on set for face time but for the pay and to network and to job. Not distract from the story.

Episode 5

Episode 6

The guy dancing in the background every time I saw him at a SAG event he would demand my number like I was desperate and needed to give it to him. I was like NO.

  

I remember this next one. i was not there for the party scene. I don’t even remember hearing about it. I did turn down a voucher one day from the show because I had mine. I remember it being really cold and because we were in the background I did not know what they were shooting or who. That happened alot. To work in the FILM AND TV industry you have to be able to go with your gut and have good instincts. I am sitting with someone and there was someone else in the tent. I also think they gave me a long day because I think they wrapped allot of the others when they shot this.

Yeah I now know why. the dance sequence was shot on stage 2 up in Santa Clarita and I only worked up there once. However the fight scene outside the tent that is me trying to cross over to the other side. My mind set I was trying to reach someone to get them away from the fight. Playing the protective mother hen to another girl. ACTRESS THAT I AM that was my motivation.

I remember the car scene and there were extras there. they set up a rain machine. It may not have been the complete scene, but it was late and I remember thinking from what I could see they were doing a love scene.

I am not in this next one but I remember Tim De Kay and I think one of the actors telling us to get out of the water. Like they moved us girls out of the shot so we would not get soaked before they shot it. I love these guys because that is what they did. It was like being in a Carnivale show. They looked out for us. THis is us in the background. But they had us all get out of the water so we would not get sick.

Magic of show business in a way. I did not know what they were shooting or why. My job was just to make it look like I was a part of it. that is me at the table to the back.

Ep 8

Doing laundry in the back middle.

Ep 9. Ok I was wondering if you could see me here. I remember shooting this. they had me carry these sticks OVER and OVER again. I did not complain but I crashed after. Like seriously there was a day I worked so hard I almost passed out and one of the Carnies found a trailer for me to sleep in. I worked hard on this set. I look back now and wonder though if the AD/ PA was trying to torture me. I remember I think I worked with him later on BIG LOVE.

this is really cool that this guy is featured in this. Like I remember talking to him but I think we worked on something other than Carnivale. But every time he saw me he would say Carnivale. Oh yeah and the Hispanic guy to the right of Clea. I worked with him a great deal too on different things. I did not know he worked Carnivale.

Episode 11. that is me. I was either doing laundry, cooking, or carrying something. At the instruction of a PA or crew or the AD of course. though often they just told us to do something to fill in that space over there.

Ok the guy carrying the bad was really cool. He actually warned me to not pick up the phone if Johnny Ponzio called me after we wrapped. He was right. JOhn left me a message implying he wanted a non-commit ant relationship with me or for me to not be committed to anyone. The message as I recall was he was not serious about anyone and maybe I should not be either. I heard the guy in the picture died. He had a health problem. Talk about having morals. I thank you where ever you are.

And there I am again. I think I walked to fast. but there was an indication we needed to move fast.

And again me carrying something. I can always recognize that hat. I lived in it for six months.

I don’t remember her name but the hispanic girl in the middle had a conversation with Blake Shields about his girlfriend the fourth episode. The girls all picked men they wanted to be paired with. I had spent half a season on Deadwood. The last thing I wanted was to be paired with anyone or for the guys to think I wanted to be paired with anyone. I picked people I thought would be safe, though I did say I thought Blake seemed nice but he was a principal. The thing is I only half listened to the conversation. I felt they were putting on a show. I also always felt I was the new girl and not welcome but they kept bringing me back. She and Olga stayed in John Ponzio’s room in Lancaster and Olga talked all night to her keeping us all up until late. Really not cool. IN fact that is OLGA behind Michael Anderson.

 

Ok I do not remember being here for this, but I do remember at least one day they changed my hat. I am not sure. I remember one day being told to be very very upset. I am not perfect. If so that may be me in the background to the left.

Yes that is me. I kind of good that way. Kind of wish they had not given my hat back to me. that was a better look for me. That is me. reaction shot. If I recall now this is the scene i thought I heard Tim De Kay say. “She really can act” in regards to my performance. It is strange because I get so focused that I forgot this. I was so focused on being in the moment that I forgot about doing this. OK THAT IS WEIRD MAYBE TO some, but true.

Ep 12 Me selling peanuts. I had a problem though in that the background kept stealing the peanuts and throwing them at each other. I ended up having to put them in the tent with John Carol Lynch and the Principals between shots.

 

This is the scene that they used on HBOs website that made me known for a time for CARNIVALE.

Reaching out for “saving.”

 

That guy on the left with his fingers to his mouth is LIAM CARTY.  He goes my another name on face book and maybe now on sets. he took me to the Hospital for my biopsy then went to Afghanistan.When he came back he was mean and completely “forgot” I had breast cancer.  He remembers me going for a PAP smear not a biopsy and does not remember me finding out I had cancer before he left.  What happened to him was obviously wrong and why I am scared out of my mind to find my google+ being followed by a dozen military men.

Liam later sent me a nasty email telling me I was just background. EXCUSE ME but so is he and OLGA and the non speaking people in this scene. He was in the army. I trained to act. I should be with my UNION and allowed to continue to fight to act or why do we have soldiers dying if they can come home and bully and violate the rights of citizens they fought for here.  Also BACKGROUND is how many actors have started as SAG AFTRA to gain experience on a set and to learn the ropes, kind of like the CHORUS in theater where you don’t have lines but are just part of the scene.

Me leaving with the Carnivale people following Ben Hawkins (Nick Stahls). 

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