I was attacked by Michelle Borth and then I was also told by her fans that I had friends. I am like- WHAT? It made me feel like they sent me friends. Well I will NEVER HAVE FRIENDS. Every time I try to make friends it is as if my DAD calls them up and i have no idea what he says to them but I am tired of it. I am not changing my name or disapperaing. I also discovered that HAZELDINE has the same lawyers as DEMPSEY AND DANE and well it made me wonder why they REALLY were JERKS TO ME and why I CAN”T FIND A LAWYER TO SUE. I have no FUTURE because of these JERKS. NONE. And I am being treated like what- I can’t be in the same room with my UNION MEMBERS- there are 120,000 members of SAG and guess what- SOME OF THEM MIGHT LIKE ME IF THEY GOT TO KNOW ME. One of them might be someone I can actually trust, be friends with, and want to bake and cook with and hang with and hike with, so HOW DARE YOU!!

And Maria ESTHER GUZMAN says she does not know me. WELL HERE IS THE THING. I have twiiters from her dating over a year in 2011 and she was on my FB at one point and I have emails back and forth. She accused me of cursing at her or something. I did not. Though I did get upset because her account kept following me and un following me. The same woman who says that she thinks this whole mess is weird was on my FB at the time and my linkedin. I actually removed her because I was pulling away from the whole mably page fan thing. LIke it was weird. I felt like I was being followed by people from that page and i did not know why. I liked her though so we became linked in friends. She was mature and did not seem to want to mess with my mind and was not obsessed.

I NEED PEACE. I mean all of a sudden I get a bunch of friends in Britain but they confuse me. Make me feel like I should stay here but then they are the ones wishing me a happy birthday while no one here is. I have been through enough. I am tired of all of it. I just wanted peace, to make art, to draw and what is ironic is that a guy I knew years ago is the wife of the co-creator of Guerilla FIlm Makers from britain and I actually asked him if he knew any celebrities because I was kind of abused my one with a picture of a gun in his hand and he kind of got a little weird but friended me anyways for a time but then i found Stuart Hazeldine on his wife’s page and that made me realize that maybe all of this crap is a bunch of immature lies. I mean I came to Cali for an artistic fresch start, not to be driven back to DC to be a lawyer because for some sick reason some people who have made it want to ruin my hope and fun.

In Grad School I had a boy friend in Baltimore whose brother I decked for trying to cheat with me. He lives out here in Los Angeles too. I also dated a film maker/ camera guy though well I am emotional and he pushed my buttons and I did not want to go to far with him physically so I either got him to stand me up or I left him at a bar. At this point they WIN. I have been driven completely insane. I don’t care about being made a producer or director because MONEY DOES NOT DRIVE ME. ACTING AND ART DOES. I am terrified to date because men here lie to get what they want and LAWYERS especially and i don’t want to find that once again I am in a relationship with someone who has LIED TO ME about who he is and what he wants. I was liked out here. ANd now I feel all the like I am getting is FAKE.

I can’t even say I like an actor before people start acting LIKE I AM SOME MONSTER when excuse me but I lost my virginity in Grad school not high school or college so technically I have never been with anyone under the age of 19 and so I can’t be called some freak and if the GOAL IS TO MAKE SURE I AM NOT A CELEBRITY AND FAMOUS and then you think that I WILL BE OK. I was happy from 2003 to 2008 as background and never made a big deal about my WORK. To be able to work that much again on sets- ID HAVE TO WORK TO BE KNOWN AS AN ACTOR so preventing me from getting acting work at all means I will NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN about being alive or making money. It would take one hell of a MAN to change that but I am certain AU will MAKE SURE FOR SOME SICK REASON THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN. THANK YOU. I AM ALONE. I HAVE NO ONE. AND MY FATHER ABUSES ME. AND YOU HAVE LEFT ME FEELING SCARED. I don’t even have anyone to fantasize about now. SCREW YOU.
And I doubt LUke Mably was trying to be my friend. NOt the way I was being treated by his fans. Though I did meet a really nice girl in Germany and I hope she gets all her dreams. Fly girl. FLY.

I also forgot that there were emails in this from Cineladies and also from the woman I worked with on ELI STONE and also Barry Caldwell saying how much I worked and also STALKERS. Seriously I had this guy I think worked with me in crew who kept stalking me and sending me creapy emails, same for this guy on LInkedin who also attacked me. I mean seriously. What are these people’s problems. I went to graduate school then law school, but finished my theater post law school. I only dated a few guys in my life. To my knowledge I don’t have an STD. I have never raped anyone. I have gotten drunk and hooked up and been embarrassed and upset with my own stupidity with a friend and that ended the friendship. I think that happens in life. I mean if he wants to make that go away, hello I don’t talk about you. I have not seen you since the mid 90s. If this is my first boy friend, I am not going back to you. And if this is because I said NO I would not go out with you- UM then this is really STUPID.
I dated two guys in law school kind of, but one of them was after my job and the other was kind of also after my job and so I cried myself to sleep and moved on. I dated the same guy the last 4 years I lived in DC. I’d move to Hawaii before moving back east, though I don’t think there is enough acting there for me, though who knows. And frankly I have seasonal depression. YOu are not going to drive me insane but suicide at this rate. Do you really hate me that much for not going out with you or what ever the evil root of this? I mean even ESPOSTITO who kept sending me the repeated emails helped out at the AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY walk and knew I was a breast cancer survivor. I think what ever this evil is about or what ever evil is being said- no compassion for a woman who bleed from her breasts is not a very descent or good thing at all.